Monday, April 27, 2009

La di da...

Well, I wish I had a million things to report right now, but I don't. We are coming up on my due date, and I'm a little sad that I won't be welcoming my little one in a couple weeks. However, I am grateful for where God has brought me through all of this. I know that He has a plan and the perfect children for us. I just hate waiting for them.

In other news, I was offered a job at Williams Elementary School here in Austin. I am so excited! I will be teaching 3rd grade ESL. I love the school, and the staff, and I am so blessed to be there. I am going to sign my contract tomorrow!

It looks like we will probably start this whole trying to conceive process again in August. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I know that sounds weird since I want to be a mom, but it isn't like we can just have sex and BAM I'm pregnant! I have to take medications, and go to multiple doctor's appointments...and then that gives me the same chance of getting pregnant as any other woman without PCOS. Anyway, I feel kind of whiny today. I think it could be the rainy weather and that I have been so tired from not sleeping well since I have been breaking out in hives. I'm gettting better!

I guess that's all!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

What to say?

This has been an entirely crazy few months...mainly because I think I ovulated without a trigger shot from my ob/gyn, and...well...that has NEVER happened! It is kind of exciting. Also, things are looking up as far as jobs go.

It is looking like I might have a full time teaching job next year (more on that to come), and Paul is going to be working nights at Home Depot (he gets to drive a fork lift!) Anyway, God has brought us a long way since last April when Paul got laid off. It has been such an interesting journey! I wouldn't have wanted to go on it if God hadn't drug me through it, but I have to say that there is a sweetness resting in His presence.

So...right now we are waiting for an official job offer for me, and a full time position for Paul. As well as, anticipating the arrival of our nephew Miles. Let me clarify...he is my best friend's son who is due any day now, and I just can't wait to meet him. I found the cutest sport coat for him! Anyway, it seems like he will be here before we know it, and I tell ya...I hope he has chubby cheeks! I can't wait to meet him! I know I keep saying that, but seriously I know his parents and he is going to be the cutest baby EVER! Well, next to my own that is.

Anyway, I will try to post more as there is any news, but right now....LIFE IS GOOD! Thank you Lord!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Holy Moly!

So my Ob/gyn put me on Metformin last May to help with the PCOS. Rumor has it that Metformin helps with symptoms and can actually shorten your cycle lengths. Well, I finally experienced the wonder of this drug. I know most women are too excited to start their periods, but I usually go 5 months without one so you can imagine when after 74 days I started my period!! The Metformin is actually working! I am so excited. Since it is working I could actually ovulate without taking all of the extra fertility treatments!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

In need of a disclaimer...

Recently, I have found out that some people have been frustrated with me about what I post on here. So here is a disclaimer:

What you are about to read are my thoughts and feelings about my journey Trying to Conceive. These feelings may be of anger, jealously, disappointment, fatigue, and weariness. There are times when joyous things may be posted on here. However, the process of trying to conceive a child that I so desperately desire is painful, and there are times of mourning. So expect to see pure, raw emotion much like you would read in a diary. You may begin to notice that this process is much like the grieving process and I have to move through each stage in order to cope. If you choose to read this please know my heart's desire is not to hurt you, it is not to make you feel like I don't like you or that it is your fault that I am not getting pregnant. I am just being honest about my feelings on this journey.

You may notice that the top of the blog is a verse from Psalms saying that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I want each of your who read this to know that I do completely believe that God created me in such a way that whatever physical problems I might have that I know I was created for His glory.

I am fully aware of how my raw emotions look to those of you who have had me censor them. I am fully aware that at times I am going to coming across angry or possibly slightly crazy. However, you have to take it with a grain of salt.

I fully believe that this journey that God is taking me on will lead me to be completely joyous with the end result. Whether that mean I get pregnant, we adopt, or I just continue in this life as a teacher loving and nurturing the children in my classroom. I know that God has created me to show children His pure and unconditional love. I also know that this process is showing me to trust in Him with all I have know that He has a plan for me that is perfect. Through this journey I have found more joy in Christ than I could have possibly known because I have had to become completely dependent upon Him....and that is where joy is...in Christ. That doesn't mean that I will never grieve the loss of my unborn child because I will. It doesn't mean that my desire to become a mother will go away because I know that is what I was created to be. With that may come some jealousy because I want a child am I am having to wait. But none of this means that I am ever unhappy for those of you that God is blessing with children, and it doesn't meant that I don't want to see how He is working in your life through this child.

Please know that I sincerely love each and every one of you, and I would never want you to feel like you can't talk to me because I don't want you to rub your child in my face. More than anything I want to be apart of your child's life and watching them grow into who God created them to be.

I sincerely apologize to anyone whom my words on this blog may have hurt, but this is my outlet for frustration. I chose to publicly display my feelings because I don't want to have to repeat myself a thousand times, but I also want you to be able to see what God is doing in my life through this process.

I love you!