Monday, July 21, 2008

My story...

As long as I can remember I have had irregular periods, and been a little heavier than my friends. My freshman year in college I was at Angelo State University in San Angelo, TX. The campus is completely flat, very small campus and there was a microwave/refrigerator in my dorm room. Needless to say when you combine that with a TV I gained the freshman 15 and then some. I transferred to Southwest Texas State University the next year, and lived at home. I had classes three days a week and thought that because they were all Theatre classes they would all be in the same building...I was wrong. One of my classes was on the other side of campus up an enormous hill, and I had 10 minutes to get there. That semester I also joined the gym, and took a Modern Dance class. I toned and lost some of that weight. However, once I moved on to campus I struggled a lot more with exercising and healthy eating and gained some of it back, but I stayed at about 165 lbs until I got engaged to my husband.

I am not sure if it was going on birth control that caused the weight gain or stress, but I gained about 15 lbs. After the wedding we realized that I don't handle stress well, and I was sick all of the time. I was also diagnosed with epilepsy so my weight fluctuated between 180 lbs. and 190 lbs. As soon as I was able to learn how to deal with stress I have gained weight. My birth control pill was changed from Ortho-Tri-cyclen Lo to Ovcon 35. The dose of estrogen went from a lower dose of estrogen to 35 mcg. My ob/gyn said that because I have epilepsy I needed to be on at least 35mcg of estrogen. I have now come to find out that I was misinformed. You see, that is only true if you are on an enzyme inducing seizure medication, and I was not...nor have I ever been. My husband and I decided two years ago to start trying to have children. We went off the pill and when I would have a period it was once every 5 months. I was overweight, had horrible acne, and extra hair growth on my chin and below my belly button. During that time I had a seizure, was hospitalized so I could have a video EEG. My seizure medicine was changed and my ob/gyn put me back on Ovcon 35 for 6 months because she wasn't comfortable with the medication my neurologist prescribed. I trusted her judgement at the time, but as soon as I went off of it I once again went to cycles that were once every 5 months. She put me on Prometrium to make sure I had my cycle every month and after 3 months I had a severe anxiety attack. All my doctor told the nurse to tell me after a 3 day wait was that I didn't have to take it, but after 3 months if I didn't have my period then I had to go back on it. My first thought was...I'm not sure if that is what you need to tell someone who has just had an anxiety attack because of a medication that you put them on, and my second thought was I need a new doctor.

In May, I went to a new doctor, and after he heard my story he did a vaginal ultrasound and confirmed that I do have PCOS. He started me on 500mg of Metformin and 2.5mg of Femara days 5-9. On cycle day 12 I went in for a follicle study and they measured 7 mm...apparently when you are close to ovulation your follicles should be at 18 mm-20 mm. So he put me on birth control pill for 14 days, continued the Metformin, and increased the Femara to 5mg on days 5-9. I went in for a follicle study on Saturday (July 19) and still my follicles were measuring 5-7 mm. The doctor ordered some blood work, and now I get to wait to see what the next step is.

In the mean time, I know 8 people that are having babies between September and February. It is that time that I ask God "why them and not me?" even though I know His timing is perfect. I wonder what should I do next...do I need to really work at losing weight? So I have decided that I am going to cut out fast food and soft drinks, and manage my portions. I have used My Food Diary before, and it worked quite well...so I think I will try that again. And I will weigh in every week. So hopefully we will all see a little progress. In the mean time...Trust in the Lord..

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Purpose

I decided to write this blog because I can't find anything out there where I can voice my struggles and really get support. I can't reflect on how I feel, and I can't find a place where I can help someone else who is struggling. So my purpose for this blog is to help myself minimize the anxiety as I deal with PCOS, weight loss, and trying to conceive, and to give someone else an easy place to find comfort, and listening ear, and some resources I so desperately needed.

My prayer is that this blog would help me to reflect on who Christ is in my life, and to depend on Him and His timing for children. That this blog would be a safe place to ask questions, find answers, and encourage each other.

If you stumbled upon this blog...I pray that God would use it for His glory to minister to you, and that we can walk through this journey together.

Here's to complete dependence on God...