As many of you know Paul and I have gone through quite the process to get pregnant, and through those months we have seen many, many friends and family members get pregnant and have babies. There have been times when I was just bitter. I was hurt, angry, and wondering why it was so easy for them and not for me. I have had to take some time to deal with this icky heart of mine, and sometimes just be distracted by what is going on.
With that said this past week I got to see 2 of my very best friends and their new little angels. These two friends have been so patient as I deal with my ugly heart and gave me the space I needed while never judging me. As I watched these 2 friends with their babies I realized that sometimes God reveals his love for us through difficult circumstances. (You would think I would have learned that by now). I was amazed at how their hearts have been changed by becoming moms, and how God is using their new child to show His love for them. It was an absolutely beautiful picture.
I am learning a lot while I don't have a child. Mainly that I really need to take this time and just love on my husband and cherish the time we have together, but also that God is NOT punishing me by not giving me what I want right now. He is taking time to teach me patience, and how to love others, and how to be overwhelmed with joy for my friends as they enter this new stage of life.
So my heart is being renewed day by day, and I am overwhelmed with what God is doing in my life and the lives of my friends and family members who have new little ones. I can't wait to see what God does next!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Oh Sweet Summer Rain...
I'm sitting on the couch listening to the rain and looking at how refreshed the earth looks. It reminds me of how I feel after getting hot, sweaty and dirty and then taking a nice cool shower. Refreshed!
Lately I have been struggling with feeling refreshed. I woke up yesterday morning feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and frustrated. I sat down and read my Bible for the first time in several weeks. I didn't even know where to start so I looked at the Bible Reading Plan on our church website and found that the reading was Proverbs 4. This is what I read:
And give attention that you may gain understanding,
2For I give you sound teaching;
Do not abandon my instruction.
3When I was a son to my father,
Tender and the only son in the sight of my mother,
4Then he taught me and said to me,
"Let your heart hold fast my words;
Keep my commandments and live;
5Acquire wisdom! Acquire understanding!
Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth.
6"Do not forsake her, and she will guard you;
Love her, and she will watch over you.
7"The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom;
And with all your acquiring, get understanding.
8"Prize her, and she will exalt you;
She will honor you if you embrace her.
9"She will place on your head a garland of grace;
She will present you with a crown of beauty."
10Hear, my son, and accept my sayings
And the years of your life will be many.
11I have directed you in the way of wisdom;
I have led you in upright paths.
12When you walk, your steps will not be impeded;
And if you run, you will not stumble.
13Take hold of instruction; do not let go
Guard her, for she is your life.
14Do not enter the path of the wicked
And do not proceed in the way of evil men.
15Avoid it, do not pass by it;
Turn away from it and pass on.
16For they cannot sleep unless they do evil;
And they are robbed of sleep unless they make someone stumble.
17For they eat the bread of wickedness
And drink the wine of violence.
18But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn,
That shines brighter and brighter until the full day.
19The way of the wicked is like darkness;
They do not know over what they stumble.
20My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.
21Do not let them depart from your sight;
Keep them in the midst of your heart.
22For they are life to those who find them
And health to all their body.
23Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life.
24Put away from you a deceitful mouth
And put devious speech far from you.
25Let your eyes look directly ahead
And let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you.
26Watch the path of your feet
And all your ways will be established.
27Do not turn to the right nor to the left;
Turn your foot from evil.
Those first two verses hit my heart like knife. I realized that I had not been acquiring wisdom because I haven't been sitting with Jesus. I haven't gone to church because somehow or another I have been recovering from surgery, sick, or out of town. I had abandoned instruction. I realized at that moment that I was preventing myself from being refreshed. It's like I wasn't bathing. Gross picture, huh?
After confessing this to Jesus and seeking repentance the next few verses gave me encouragement: 12When you walk, your steps will not be impeded;
And if you run, you will not stumble.
13Take hold of instruction; do not let go
Guard her, for she is your life.
How beautiful to read that when you are acquiring wisdom nothing will keep you from it, and that you should guard wisdom, for it gives you life. How often I have wondered what is keeping me from really experiencing what Christ has to offer, and neglecting my relationship with Him is what is preventing me from being refreshed.
So after my sweet time with Jesus, I talked to my friend in real estate about some ideas to get our house sold. It comes back to staging, and getting rid of clutter that you don't realize is there but a buyer would. So Paul and I spent sometime just cleaning and getting rid of clutter, and putting away pictures so a buyer could come in and see the house as their house and not ours. Another refreshment. And now I sit here soaked as I had to go to the grocery store with 2 kids in the rain, but reminded that Christ is my refreshment, and the sweet summer rain is my reminder. Amen!
Lately I have been struggling with feeling refreshed. I woke up yesterday morning feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and frustrated. I sat down and read my Bible for the first time in several weeks. I didn't even know where to start so I looked at the Bible Reading Plan on our church website and found that the reading was Proverbs 4. This is what I read:
Proverbs 4
A Father's Instruction
1Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father,And give attention that you may gain understanding,
2For I give you sound teaching;
Do not abandon my instruction.
3When I was a son to my father,
Tender and the only son in the sight of my mother,
4Then he taught me and said to me,
"Let your heart hold fast my words;
Keep my commandments and live;
5Acquire wisdom! Acquire understanding!
Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth.
6"Do not forsake her, and she will guard you;
Love her, and she will watch over you.
7"The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom;
And with all your acquiring, get understanding.
8"Prize her, and she will exalt you;
She will honor you if you embrace her.
9"She will place on your head a garland of grace;
She will present you with a crown of beauty."
10Hear, my son, and accept my sayings
And the years of your life will be many.
11I have directed you in the way of wisdom;
I have led you in upright paths.
12When you walk, your steps will not be impeded;
And if you run, you will not stumble.
13Take hold of instruction; do not let go
Guard her, for she is your life.
14Do not enter the path of the wicked
And do not proceed in the way of evil men.
15Avoid it, do not pass by it;
Turn away from it and pass on.
16For they cannot sleep unless they do evil;
And they are robbed of sleep unless they make someone stumble.
17For they eat the bread of wickedness
And drink the wine of violence.
18But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn,
That shines brighter and brighter until the full day.
19The way of the wicked is like darkness;
They do not know over what they stumble.
20My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.
21Do not let them depart from your sight;
Keep them in the midst of your heart.
22For they are life to those who find them
And health to all their body.
23Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life.
24Put away from you a deceitful mouth
And put devious speech far from you.
25Let your eyes look directly ahead
And let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you.
26Watch the path of your feet
And all your ways will be established.
27Do not turn to the right nor to the left;
Turn your foot from evil.
Those first two verses hit my heart like knife. I realized that I had not been acquiring wisdom because I haven't been sitting with Jesus. I haven't gone to church because somehow or another I have been recovering from surgery, sick, or out of town. I had abandoned instruction. I realized at that moment that I was preventing myself from being refreshed. It's like I wasn't bathing. Gross picture, huh?
After confessing this to Jesus and seeking repentance the next few verses gave me encouragement: 12When you walk, your steps will not be impeded;
And if you run, you will not stumble.
13Take hold of instruction; do not let go
Guard her, for she is your life.
How beautiful to read that when you are acquiring wisdom nothing will keep you from it, and that you should guard wisdom, for it gives you life. How often I have wondered what is keeping me from really experiencing what Christ has to offer, and neglecting my relationship with Him is what is preventing me from being refreshed.
So after my sweet time with Jesus, I talked to my friend in real estate about some ideas to get our house sold. It comes back to staging, and getting rid of clutter that you don't realize is there but a buyer would. So Paul and I spent sometime just cleaning and getting rid of clutter, and putting away pictures so a buyer could come in and see the house as their house and not ours. Another refreshment. And now I sit here soaked as I had to go to the grocery store with 2 kids in the rain, but reminded that Christ is my refreshment, and the sweet summer rain is my reminder. Amen!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)