Saturday, June 19, 2010

A Renewed Heart

As many of you know Paul and I have gone through quite the process to get pregnant, and through those months we have seen many, many friends and family members get pregnant and have babies.  There have been times when I was just bitter.  I was hurt, angry, and wondering why it was so easy for them and not for me.  I have had to take some time to deal with this icky heart of mine, and sometimes just be distracted by what is going on. 

With that said this past week I got to see 2 of my very best friends and their new little angels.  These two friends have been so patient as I deal with my ugly heart and gave me the space I needed while never judging me.  As I watched these 2 friends with their babies I realized that sometimes God reveals his love for us through difficult circumstances.  (You would think I would have learned that by now).  I was amazed at how their hearts have been changed by becoming moms, and how God is using their new child to show His love for them.  It was an absolutely beautiful picture. 

I am learning a lot while I don't have a child. Mainly that I really need to take this time and just love on my husband and cherish the time we have together, but also that God is NOT punishing me by not giving me what I want right now.  He is taking time to teach me patience, and how to love others, and how to be overwhelmed with joy for my friends as they enter this new stage of life.

So my heart is being renewed day by day, and I am overwhelmed with what God is doing in my life and the lives of my friends and family members who have new little ones.  I can't wait to see what God does next!

1 comment:

Marcy said...

hang in there, sweetie! you've discovered God's time isn't necessarily our time. Keeping you in prayer that God will work His Will in you.