Anxiety in Pregnancy

Disclaimer: This was written about 6 weeks ago. I'm still struggling with this off and on. 


This isn't public knowledge yet...I'm 6 weeks pregnant. Something is different this time around. I feel more anxious.

With Julia and Owen I was so excited. I was peaceful. Well, until I lost Owen.

I think that's what the problem is. I think I'm anxious about losing this baby. I'm anxious about going into my first appointment and there not being a heart beat. I'm worried that in the next 34 weeks something is going to happen and I won't ever hold this baby in my arms.

However, I'm also anxious about how much having another baby is going to change Julia's life. I don't know how she will adapt. I don't know how she will get along with this new baby, and that scares me. I'm afraid she'll have a rough relationship with her sibling like I did/do with mine.

I know it's too late to think about all of this, but until I got pregnant I didn't think about this. I was worried about whether or not I could get pregnant. Now that I am, I worry about how this is going to rock Julia's world.

Not to mention I've been so sick that I feel like I'm neglecting Julia, and I only have 34 weeks of it just being the two of us.

Why is this so hard? Does anybody have any advice on how to deal with this? Did anyone else feel this way?

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