A little about love and loss, and Emily

Three years ago we found out that our sweet baby boy had died in utero at 18 weeks. We had been in College Station for a football game, and when we got home I was feeling nauseated and told Paul I was worried because I hadn't felt  Julia and Owen moving very much. We decided to call the OB on-call and he said because I was only 18 weeks pregnant that it was completely normal for me to not have felt a lot of movement, but if I was really worried that I could go to the ER. We went just for peace of mind.

Once we got there they tried to find heartbeats and could only find one. The nurse told us not to worry because that was normal at 18 weeks. The doctor ordered an ultrasound. Paul wasn't allowed to go into the ultrasound with me. As I went in, the sonographer told me that I could watch, but she couldn't answer any questions. I remember laying there as she did the ultrasound and praying that I would see that everything was normal, and we would go home.

She asked if we knew the gender of the babies. I told her we were having a boy and a girl. I told her there names. I watched as she looked at Owen. I watched as she confirmed he was a boy. I watched as she took measurements. And I watched as she tried not once, but twice to find a heartbeat. Nothing ever came up.

I then watched as she moved to Julia, and took measurements which were more difficult because she was very active. I watched as she confirmed her gender. I watched as her heartbeat came up and I listened to how strong it was.

I laid there, and I hoped beyond hope that I had missed something. I hoped that I had just blinked and missed his heartbeat. After she told me we were done and we would hear from the doctor soon, I looked at her and asked "but we have two moving babies with heartbeats right?". And I'll never forget her response. She looked away from me, and said "I can't answer that question. You'll hear from the doctor shortly."

As she wheeled me back in the room, Paul asked me if everything was okay. I remember looking at him and saying "I don't know." I described everything I saw, but I really didn't know that everything was okay with our babies.

We waited what seemed like an eternity, and the ER doctor finally walked in. As soon as I saw his face I knew something was wrong. He was so sullen. He sat down, and said "I'm so sorry, but you've lost one of your babies. We are going to transfer you to your hospital and you will be seen by a doctor at your OB practice."

My heart sank. I was devastated. I just started crying, and I think I cried for days. I called my parents, and I was shaking as I told my dad. I couldn't even get the words out of my mouth. I had to repeat it so he could hear me. I called Paul's family on our way to the hospital and told them. I kept praying it was a nightmare I was going to wake up from, but I couldn't.

It took me a long time to put on the clothes I wore that day. It took me a long time to eat at places we ate at that day. It took me until this past weekend to even go back to College Station. College Station was a place I had good memories of. I got engaged there. And now I've lost a child there and it was the last place I wanted to face.

But God took us back. And he surrounded us with friends and family who helped make this past weekend memorable. New memories were created. My girls had A BLAST while we were there. I laughed while I was there.

With all of the tradition that surrounds Texas A&M I think that's what makes it hard for me to not be mournful while I'm there. It will always be a bittersweet place for me, but it will be a place that holds special memories for our family too. God redeems and restores. He redeemed College Station, TX for me this past weekend so that I can enjoy the pomp and circumstance of Aggie Football with my family.

I know that seems silly, but the reality is God loves me so much that I know He doesn't want me to only have negative feelings about a place He created for His glory.

So I want this redemption to take place for a little girl named Emily too. Emily lives in the Democratic Republic of Congo. She lives in a place that has the highest rate of sex trafficking. She lives in a place where it is impossible to be a girl and maintain innocence. But God is already working to redeem her story. He has called my friend McCall to adopt her, and take her out of this place. Right now McCall and her family are working to raise money for their dossier submission, and they need your help! Please go to LeeMeandthegirls.blogspot.com and learn how you can help bring Emily home and be a part of her redemptive story.  All it takes is $5 for you to make a difference and you will be entered to win some amazing stuff in a GIVEAWAY!!

Go now! What are you waiting for?!?

King of Love CD-review

Hey friends! I have been given the opportunity to review the NEW Austin Stone Worship Album "King of Love" that releases Tuesday, October 22, 2013. It's absolutely AMAZING!

I LOVE the ASCC Worship Albums, but this one may be my favorite. It has several old hymns on it that resonate with my heart, and remind me of being little. LOVE that. I LOVE that songs on the album bring about true worship of Jesus Christ and the gospel.

You will not regret this purchase! So OCTOBER 22 go download it on ITunes!!

Noonday Blog Train!!

I am so honored to be a part of this Blog Train. Since the launch of our Fall Collection on August 28th there has been one Ambassador blogging about Noonday Collection and doing a GIVEAWAY E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y. It's pretty exciting. Yesterday, Lilly Neubauer started a giveaway for the Sophie Bracelet. This bracelet is near and dear to my heart because it is made in Haiti! It's AMAZING!! You are gonna LOVE it!! Go enter!!

About 3 years ago a dear friend of mine had a Noonday Collection Trunk Show to help raise money for their adoption. At that time I had NEVER heard of Noonday Collection, but once I did I was HOOKED! I bought a couple of items for my sister-in-law one Christmas, but didn't really know a whole lot more about Noonday Collection until my friend Krista Box, invited me to a Trunk Show to raise money for their adoption from Uganda. Let me tell you....it is one thing to look at what is on the website (and you should!), but when you attend a Trunk Show, hear the story of Noonday Collection, and see the products it is a completely different experience. (Not to mention hanging out with a bunch of women, trying on jewelry, and drinking wine is pretty phenomenal too). I had so much fun, and it was at this point that I understood the heart behind Noonday Collection. It's about caring for the poor and oppressed.

If you know me you know that I have a huge heart for adoption. Paul and I are in the process of adopting from Haiti, and are excited about expanding our family this way. However, I can't help but feel sad that I am getting a child because someone else can't raise this child. My whole life I knew there were children who didn't have parents or couldn't live with their parents, but I never realized that some children in the world can't live with their parents because their parents can't afford to raise them. These children are abandoned because their parents want a better life for them.

Noonday Collection not only helps place children in Forever Families by donating a portion of Adoption Trunk Shows to the adoptive families, but more importantly they are helping to keep families together by providing artisans with jobs so they don't have to give their children away. They can afford to raise their children, feed their children, and send their children to school. Lives are being changed.

I'm excited about this new adventure in my life. I get to help people by selling AMAZING jewelry! I also get to help my friends bring their babies home! 

I can't express enough that when you purchase through Noonday Collection you are changing lives. You are allowing women to take care of themselves, you are helping families get health care, artisans and their children are getting an education. Things I certainly took for granted until I learned about Noonday Collection. Please consider how you can partner with me to change the lives of artisans around the world. Go to my website: CynthiaCoppinger.NoondayCollection.com or email me to set up a Trunk Show at CynthiaC(dot)Noonday@gmail(dot)com.

Let's change some lives together!!

Today I'm giving away a bracelet that I LOVE!! The Violet Horn Bracelet is beautiful, and is currently backordered so here's your chance to win it!!

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Check out my dear friend Kristine's GiVeAwAy TOMORROW!!

Noonday GIVEAWAY!

Recently, I became an Ambassador for Noonday Collection, and I'm beyond excited about this new opportunity in my life. I've been praying and praying and searching for a way to bring in some extra income without having to send my girls to daycare. I've been praying about how God would have us raise money for our adoption. I've been praying and earnestly seeking the Lord for His will on how He wants me to serve the oppressed.

Enter Noonday Collection.

I've known about Noonday Collection for about 3 years which is about as long as it has been around, let me tell you friends...Noonday Collection is changing lives.

And I'm giving YOU a chance to be a part of it.

I'm giving away one of my favorite pieces the Funky Paper Bead Necklace. When I wear it I get so many compliments on it, and you can wear as more than a necklace...I've seen it as a belt.



You have multiple entries in this giveaway. Enter as MANY times as you would like. REMEMBER, the more you enter the more of a chance you have to win!

There is so much more to this story, but that is coming with a Noonday Collection Blog Train in September so keep your eyes OPEN!!

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Amelia Jane's Birth Story Part 2

*WARNING: CONTAINS GRAPHIC INFORMATION!

On April 17th, I started having contractions during the wee morning hours. I got up and dropped Paul off at work and went to Target with Julia. They felt just like the Braxton Hicks contractions I'd been having so I didn't think anything of it. However, as I walked around Target the contractions started making me not able to breathe. As I was doubled over the shopping cart trying to breathe, Julia decided she should take her clothes off and run around. It was kind of hellish. I talked to my doula and she encouraged me to go see my chiropractor and my acupuncturist and see how I felt.

I went to both appointments. My chiropractor told me the baby was in my pelvis and he thought she'd be coming that day. My OB wanted me to come in when my contractions were 10 minutes apart. I knew this was a little early, but since I was having a VBAC he really wanted to keep his eye on me. At 3 PM I called because I was having contractions that were 7-8 minutes apart. He had me come in and they monitored me. After about 30 minutes I was told that I had an irritable uterus and I was NOT in labor. I cried. I was so miserable. I had to google what that meant. Basically, it means that Braxton Hicks contractions feel very strong to me, and more like real contractions. It's pretty awful.

On April 18th, I went to see my MFM doctor and I cried the whole time. I was so miserable. We talked about a lot of questions I had, and decided that the best thing was for Amelia to come by 39 weeks based on my history and the fact that with all of those contractions my cervix wasn't changing.

So on April 19th we went in for c-section. At 8:40 AM Amelia Jane was born at 7 lbs. 12 oz. and 21 inches long.

Amelia Jane's Birth Story Part 1

*WARNING: This may be contain graphic details you don't want to see or read, but this is our story and is meant to help others make educated birth choices.

When I first found out I was pregnant with Julia and Owen I wanted a natural delivery with no drugs. I knew this. I would go as long as I could and have those babies naturally. Then we lost Owen. Once that happened I had to start seeing my Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor more frequently and Julia had to come at 37 weeks. Many people ask why, and the simple answer is because my doctor believes that we had a placental abruption with Owen and that put us at a higher risk of having one with Julia. The longer she was in utero the more likely it became for her placenta to do the same thing. So at 37 weeks and 2 days she was born via caesarean section because my cervix was not dilating or effacing.

When we found out we were pregnant with Amelia we immediately started seeing our Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor and were told that she needed to come by 39 weeks because after losing one child to a placental abruption we were more likely to have a still birth if we went past my due date.

At first, I thought I would just have a repeat caesarean. I honestly was scared to try for a VBAC after talking to my doctor about it. I mean there are really scary statistics. However, the more I researched the more I realized that having a child is scary and you really shouldn't do it if you are afraid of any of the risks out there. I mean there are risks to anything that comes with childbirth. It doesn't matter how that baby comes out there is a risk to it. Once I realized that I just started praying that Amelia would come on her own by 39 weeks.

I also found a great childbirth education class to take. Julie came to our house, and as we went through our classes we decided to have Julie be our doula. She's pretty phenomenal!  She had me ask some pretty serious questions of both of my doctors...the most important being if I could wait until my due date for Miss Amelia. My MFM doctor agreed as long as I was seen by her or my OB twice a week. We agreed to that, and I started seeing a chiropractor and an acupuncturist to help get my body ready for delivery. These two things were the BEST things I've ever done. (I'm a firm believer in trying natural remedies and oriental medicine to help your body. That's a post for a different day though.)

Come back for Part 2!

Where I've been and where I am now...an Update!

It's been 5 months since I was last in this little space. My heart has missed it, but so much has been going on that I didn't feel like I had time or energy to write. I mean, I was pregnant and chasing around a 2 year. Then the baby came. I'm just now feeling like I have my head above water and I don't need a nap everyday.

So here's what's been going on:
In March, Julia turned 2! We celebrated with a few friends and some family at the Austin Zoo, and then took a trip to Ft. Worth to visit Great-Grandparents. She got a Funny Face Pancake for her birthday breakfast...she only ate the chocolate chips and whip cream.

 From March through the beginning of April we took Childbirth Classes in hopes of having a VBAC, and it was recommended that I start seeing a chiropractor and getting acupuncture...BEST THING EVER! Even if you aren't pregnant I recommend both of these!

On April 19th, we welcomed Amelia Jane into our family at 8:40 AM. We instantly fell in love...how can you not fall in love with that face?

 Needless, to say between all of these things and the sleepless nights I'm just now getting back to the blog. I might not be here much because these two beautiful girls are keeping me busy, but I'll be here talking about what's happening in our family and what's on my heart. God's doing a great work in my life as a mom and now as a mom of two. I can't begin to put into words how blessed I am. We have a community that has rallied around us to celebrate Amelia's arrival, help out with Julia and provide meals. We've been eating some GOOD food.

I'm looking forward to being back on here, and sharing my heart with you. Love you all!

It's a New Year...2013!!

This past Sunday we had a pretty powerful sermon at church...well, God really used it to get my attention about this upcoming year and the resolution I need to make.

The sermon was out of Exodus 33 and 34 when God tells Moses to take the Israelites to the Promised Land, but He won't go with them. Moses tells God not to send them if His presence won't be with them.

I was really convicted about how I make resolutions each year. I always want to lose weight, eat healthy, exercise more. In and of themselves I believe those are good goals, but I never make them with God in mind. I make them because I want the approval of others, I want to control how people think of me or what they think of me, but never because that is what God has called me to.

So I've been praying the past couple of days about what I need to resolve to do this year. What is God calling me to do?

And then I remembered this verse that we sung from a song on Sunday:
" I surrender all to Jesus, I surrender all...Believing better things, Believing better things".

I've really struggled the last few years with surrendering ALL to Jesus. Some things are easy to surrender. Things like my dog, whether or not we have clothes to wear. Other things are harder...mainly my husband and my children.

I had a lot of anxiety early on in this pregnancy that Miss Amelia wouldn't make through the first trimester, then past 18 weeks, and now to the end. I'm nervous. I worry about the health of family. I wonder how I can raise two children if something happens to Paul. I wonder how I will survive if I lose another child.

And God has had us singing A LOT of songs at church about surrender. And one Sunday I couldn't sing the words because I didn't want to surrender. I often don't want to because that means I need to give up control. That scares the crap out of me. But God started working on my heart, and the more He chips away at my heart the more I realize that is what He wants from me...to SURRENDER ALL.

So this year's resolution is to Surrender All to God. My health, my husband, my children. Let Him have control, even though it scares me, because ultimately He is sovereign. He will use whatever happens for His glory and My good.