Sunday, January 19, 2014

What God is doing in 2014

I have been avoiding writing this post. I am TERRIFIED of what is going to happen over the next year. I have NO IDEA what God is doing right now, but I do know He is calling me to be BRAVE.

I know there are many people who choose a word for each year. I have never done that. I've always been the "make a New Year's Resolution and then break it girl". Last year my resolution started to change form. Instead of making it something I couldn't keep, I made it a goal to simply just follow God and not go anywhere unless He was there with me. I can honestly say that God changed my life in 2013, and I started some new adventures as I followed Him. However, as I began to read about the words people were choosing for 2014 I heard this small voice whisper "brave". My first honest thought was "I'm not doing's silly.", but I kept thinking about that word...brave. I started thinking that I can be brave in 2014. Being brave is easy. I can step out of my comfort zone and go on a mission trip, I can ask for support from family and friends, and I can even be brave in how I parent. I can be brave. AND I can blog about how I am going to be brave in 2014, and it will be all nice and tidy.

As I sat down to start writing I thought it would be super neat to include the definition of the word brave. Here is what google told me:


: to face or deal with (something dangerous or unpleasant)


adjective \ˈbrāv\
: feeling or showing no fear : not afraid

I'm not sure what you thought when you read these definitions, but I closed my computer and decided not to write. Being brave is a lot scarier than I thought. I mean let's be honest here...who wants to face or deal with something dangerous or unpleasant? I personally am not knocking anyone over to get in that line. When you have to face or deal with something dangerous or unpleasant can you do it without feeling or showing fear? I don't know if I can.  I'm just being honest. I don't know. I don't know if I can be brave or be described that way. I take anxiety medicine to help me not feel like the world is falling apart when I am faced with those dangerous or unpleasant situations. 

So here I am 19 days into January, and I am just now writing about how I am going to be BRAVE this year. 

The truth is I don't know how I am going to be brave. I don't know what situations God is going to bring me to that are going to require me to be brave. 

Here is what I do know:

I know that in July of 2013 God made it very clear that He has called me to Noonday Collection as an Ambassador as a way for me to care for the poor and oppressed in our world.

I know that in August God called me to begin the Women's Development Program at Austin Stone Community Church in order for me to learn to seek Him, to deal with pain from my past, to learn how to Love Him and Love People, and to really deal with the darkness of my sin.

I know that this past weekend at Noonday Collection Ambassador Conference God showed me that not only do I fear being brave, but I fear dreaming BIG. Because of this I am not surrendering to Him nor being obedient to Him and that is preventing me from being radical in my life. 

So here I am. I am home with my precious family after a weekend of realizing that God gave me BIG dreams in college and I have stopped dreaming. I've become afraid to dream. I've become afraid to dream because if I do dream BIG, and I ask God to fulfill those dreams then it might possibly require sacrificing my comfort. 

I'm comfortable in my sweet home in Austin, Texas that has heat when I'm cold, air conditioning when I'm hot, a nice bed, cable, an alarm, my sweet girls, my cute hubby, and my dog. I'm comfortable here. 

But my dreams are bigger than my comforts. I have to stop being satisfied with being comfortable and start dreaming again. I have to be satisfied with God and God alone. I have to let go of wanting to be close to family and friends so that God can move. And God might move me. And it would be sad for my kids to not grow up near their cousins and grandparents, but we will be reunited in Heaven. So that I have to let go of. 

This weekend Jessica Honegger read something that I think will be etched in my soul for eternity. It was a text from her friend Jen Hatmaker. She texted Jen when she was leaving to go visit artisans when she started Noonday Collection. She was worried about not being the stay at home mom she thought she needed to be. And Jen said this "Girl, go! Your kids don't need you to stay home and take care of their every first world problem. You are leaving a legacy for them as you care for the least of these". (That may not be 100% probably isn't, but it was something close to that).

Jen also said this weekend that the Bible is literal. When Jesus said "feed the hungry." He actually meant FEED.THE.HUNGRY. When He said "care for the orphan", He meant CARE. FOR. THE. ORPHAN.

I desperately desire to teach my girls to literally follow ALL that Jesus commanded us to do. Not just to do it metaphorically. 

This is going to require me to be BRAVE this year. It is going to require me to step out of my nice home, with all of my comforts, STOP worrying, and FOLLOW God. 

It is going to require me to talk to people I don't know and ask them to partner with me in this journey. To partner with me in hosting Noonday Collection Trunk Shows so that we can create economic opportunity for the vulnerable TOGETHER. Because let's get real....God created us to live in community.

So here is to being BRAVE in 2014, and all that God is going to do as I SURRENDER and OBEY.

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