Saturday, January 7, 2012

Pet Peeves about Adoption

Sometimes I feel like I have a lot of pet peeves. I feel like there are a lot of things that just drive me crazy. But today I realized there is just one. One thing that drives me so crazy I can't see straight. It's so bad that I literally have to take a breath and calm down before I punch someone. (Okay, I might not really punch someone but I feel like doing it.)

Here it is:
When I post about adoption on Facebook...I hate hearing "Don't forget there are children in our own backyard who need homes too." When I talk to others about our adoption and here "Why Haiti? Why not America? Kids here need families too."

It DRIVES ME CRAZY. It makes me so angry. I really just want to look at them and say "So what are you doing about the orphan crisis?" Maybe I should.

I guess we all feel defensive when someone subtly or not subtly challenges what we are doing.

But I think what people fail to realize is that adoption isn't just applying, paying for it and getting a kid. Adoption is like being pregnant. You wait with anticipation and expectation. You are excited about this child you don't know yet. You pray they are safe until you get to hold them in your arms.

Emotionally, adoption and pregnancy are very much the same. Comments telling me that I'm adopting from the wrong country is like telling me I shouldn't have gotten pregnant because there are kids who need families who are already born. Because just like people bond with babies while they are pregnant adoptive parents are emotionally bonding with their kids before they come home. You worry about them, love them, and pray that they are safe.

God has called ALL of us to care for the fatherless. That doesn't mean we are all called to adopt. For some that might be fostering, for some that might be supporting others who are adopting, for some it is adoption. And I know that in our case we prayed and God made it clear that Haiti is where are children are. Adopting from anywhere else would be a sin for us because it would be going against what God has told US (the Coppingers) to do.

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