Wednesday, December 1, 2010

One Month

It's hard for me to believe that a whole month has gone by since we lost Owen. The first week seemed to drag on, and there were many times that I felt like months had gone by. Now, a month later, I'm looking back and can't believe that a month has passed.

So what has God been doing the past month? A LOT! I can't believe the healing that has happened. I still grieve over Owen, but healing is happening. I've only made 2 unnecessary, irrational trips to the doctor to check on Julia. However, one of them was the best appointment we've had because I felt her kick for the first time.

However, I still find myself anxious about whether or not she'll make it to delivery. I feel paralyzed sometimes, and God reminds me HE IS IN CONTROL! Last night, a friend was asking for prayer at small group, and our leader asked "How do we know that God is going to restore this relationship?" I found myself saying "Because God is Good and He does GOOD!" That's how I know. It wasn't something I thought, and hoped it was true. It has become something I truly believe. It amazes me that a month ago I was repeating that phrase to myself over and over again to give myself peace about losing Owen, and now that is my natural response when asked "How do we know God will do...?"

God is Good! God does Good! I rest in that, and I rest in His peace because without Him I'm a basket case, but with His peace I can function and have hope for my baby girl.

With that said...we are officially 23 weeks! 14 more to go and she can come into this world! I better get ready!!

No comments: